and opinions some people might find offensive but for which I won’t apologise.
Don’t read any further unless you are open-minded.
And as hard as I try not to give away too much, I can't guarantee there are no spoilers.
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Please Like Me -- 2013-2016 TV Series ABC Australia -- DVD, Netflix and sometimes ABC iView
Warm, Realistic, Award-Winning, Entertaining Dramedy - and Did I mention Warm?
Unconventional dramedy that tackles relationships generally, and two important topics of coming out and mental illness without being either too hilarious or too depressing.
The main character is 20-year-old Josh who, in the first episode, is told by his long-term girlfriend Claire that he is probably gay.
Other key characters include Josh’s straight room-mate Tom; Josh’s divorced parents and various partners and friends, and the too cute for words dog John.
Most of the writing was done by Josh Thomas, a stand-up comic in his other life, who said the main thing he hoped to achieve was honesty.
Absorbing information via ears is not my strong suit so I tend to automatically watch everything with subtitles – I would have been lost without them for the first half of the pilot as Josh’s accent and pace of speaking took me a while to get used to. We are both Australian but he is from Queensland and there is also, believe it or not, a whole generation I really struggle to understand at all. He certainly proved himself to be a fine writer and an excellent actor as the series unfolded.
Just because many parts of Melbourne (where this was filmed) are predominantly white, it doesn’t mean we live in a racism free zone. So let me clarify firstly with an example - a facebook clip recently went viral showing NYPD officers arresting a woman (infant in her arms) for the crime of sitting down in a welfare office where there were no chairs. The number of officers etc was OTT and the woman arrested was Black. The overwhelming response in the comments section from (white) Australians was horror of the "only in America" type. This sort of thing confirms for me most white Australians are reasonably decent people even though for some reason still refuse to acknowledge what happens in their own backyard (esp to Indigenous Australians).
The second thing is a corollary - racism in Australia is soft (whatever TF that means, you may well wonder).
Majority opinion here may be kind but bad attitudes keep popping up like a game of whack-a-mole. It’s exhausting living in a world where one is constantly co-opted into fucked alt-right conspiracies and, because of my advanced age and anglo appearance I’m often assumed to be racist, homophobic, genderist and a whole heap of other crap - yes, white girl problems, so hard! Anyway … it was refreshing to see how, over a total of 32 episodes, Please Like Me challenged some “white” Australian thinking.
In part it did this by showing in a few episodes how (white) Australians tend to accept bigotry as “irritating but normal shit behaviour”, ignored until we just can’t stand it anymore – the character of Stuart is a card-carrying member of the arsehole club who acts this out in all its foul glory. Just how obnoxious should one person have to be before we tell them to fuck off?
Arseholes are not just race or culture bigots - they subscribe to the human version of the old Australian Pioneer motto "If it moves, shoot it: If it doesn't cut it down". They have no respect for other lives or any life and will attack on any front - race, culture, body shaming, presumed abilities or intelligence, gender - you get the drift. They often have power to hire, fire, promote or in a million ways hold us to ransom or make our lives a misery. Sometimes arseholery becomes protracted bullying, and sometimes it is hit-and-run-and-done before we have a chance to challenge it. Some of us are termites at best when it comes to challenging bad behaviour, and then only on a good day.
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| Couldn't find a shot of Hannah with Stuart, but who wants to look at his ugly mug anyway? |
In episode 0305 Hannah shows us how a ninja challenges co-option by the alt-right arsehole conspiracy, but in that episode it’s water off a duck’s back because Stuart is too safe to know he is being owned. I’m going to play the age card here – I’m tired enough of all the crap to admit that in previous episodes I kept hoping someone would just do violence to the bastard. Even though she didn’t change Stuart, it was a relief when Hannah finally stood up to him. (If you approve of the way Hannah ninjas Stuart in this show, don’t forget to watch her Netflix special, Nanette – it’s awesome.)
More Digression: What sort of review is this? Why am I, a white woman, always on about race? Is it Guilt? Is it Self-loathing? No. Simply observing something that is wrong, and not being silent about it. I don't always talk about it cos it's not always obvious... except when it is.
Ninja Tactics for those in search of suggestions: For a very long time before I retired and became a hermit my motto was “only an idiot argues with an idiot”. Given there is no easy way to change anyone’s mind, a realistic goal when dealing with arseholes is just challenging their assumption that everyone agrees with them: If we can’t change their mind we can still aim to change their behaviour – or get them to hesitate before they act badly.
Some days over the years I have been stronger than others, and I mostly accepted that I would not always have-brave days. (You can only give what you have if or when you have it.) In the workplace, the default stance I strove for was something like “You are as entitled to your opinion as I am to mine but please don’t tell your racist/ sexist/ ageist/ hateful/ offensive shit jokes in the office or tea room or whatever while I’m around.”
If someone was silly enough to question how I know something’s offensive, I’d ask them if they would say the same thing within earshot of their precious wives or daughters, or the boss or X and sometimes they would actually admit not.
Another tactic is what E.B. White called “dissecting the frog” – which is if you can keep a serious face and not be tempted to respond to emotional bait, analyse a tasteless joke as if you are quite relentlessly stupid – the aim is to try and get someone to say why they thought their joke was funny. Sometimes people repeat jokes without thinking because they are focused on the goal of approval, not the means. The next time they are tempted to tell you a joke they will hesitate because they really want either approval or a fight, not the torture of humourless analysis that fucks with their head. (Yes, another digression, but hopefully one that might be useful to someone.)
M Rating – with a warning Please Like Me is a gem for the honesty with which it shows mental illness as a daily reality. In doing so, it also shows instances of suicide and self harm. If you are at all vulnerable, discuss this with someone else before watching it.
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